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Yeah... That says it all I think. I just cannot be perfect enough for her. Anything I do, she will bark at me like some crazy dog on its menstrual period. HATE it. She demands and demands and demands and I am sick and tired of it. Sorry for the continuous stream of 'ands' back there. How I ever wondered what made her be like that? People do change over the years. Yups. And I seem to cannot accept that my girl, who once I was so crazy about, change to someone really different. I ain't know her no more. What does she want from me? I cannot understand. Damn. So yeah, the image above really says what's in my mind currently.
So...this would not happen I guess. Yeah. I am a guy with big fucking dream and dreams that would never be realized. Yeah. My fault for dreaming big and the impossible. I have lost the game. Damn. So our dreams of having a wedding day on the 11th of May 2020 are up in the smokes of the improbability. Yeah. Talking crap right straight from the fucking twilight of my devastated life essence. I should be studying right now, but what the hell. I am really not in my damned mood right now. I guess I would not sleep today. Shit. My hand is trembling by the time I wrote this post. Well, that shows how pissed and frustrated I am right now. So... no more Geraldine Rose Along, Gavin Hezekiah Along, or Graciella Marcella Along. The names for our future children. But? It's ok then. I'll keep all these names for myself. I told her, if she wanted to use the names above go ahead. I would not mind. We agreed on those names before, so that makes the names are ours. It used to be anyways. So... all that I have ever wanted will nit be happening anytime soon. Hurgh. I am very down right now.
Smile. I wanted to be like the guy above, smiling without hiding anything keep smiling sincerely. Damn. I cannot do that right now. Got a lot of things in my head now and I have to fake smile my way around. Works for me I think. I make jokes around, laughing and smiling and all. Damn. Hypocrisy at its best. Yeah. Pretending is the best way to survive in this world. The only time you got to be yourself is when you are at home. Where your teddy knows you best and where you can be friggin' ugly and no one cares. I am going off topic here. Damn. Smile, though your heart is aching. Thanks Charlie Chaplin, Nat King Cole and Zee Avi for the wonderful rendition of the song. I love you guys. I just cannot live without these singers, especially u Zee Avi! And not to forget Liyana Fizi and her band, Estrella. You guys make me feel better when I am at my worst. Thanks. So....Go check em out at Youtube or wherever ok?
I'll just stop here. I am getting out of topic. I always do.
