Whatever...

It has been a long time since I have updated this little fucked up blog of mine. Why? The main reason would be lazy. Some other cliché reason would be is I run out of idea
or I am facing this writer’s block or whatever. So yeah.

Many things have been going on in the time that this blog have been left. I got myself a new BMX, Mongoose Capture or to imitate Ben Hennon’s bike, I shall call it Lady Luck. And then I got this Beats earphone which is super awesome. What else? Oh yeah, I am in my fourth semester studying in this goddamn UPSI. I know right. It has been six months since the love and I have met. And there lots and lots of things that happened during the times left behind. And my nephew, Declan Dan is now one year old. Of course, he was born last year man.

During the times I am writing this post, I just woke up and is listening to my cell’s music rather than my laptop, I got this bowl of last night’s noodle just right next to this laptop of mine. The room smelled of some people frying onions pr whatever shit there. The love is still at her kampong, deep in the hearts of Long Apu, the area where the Yellowman of DiGi does not dare to go. It seems that Long Apu is just too awesome for that fat dude. And I am saying that I am kinda lost without that little girl telling me what to do.

Yeah, to some maybe my encounter with the love now is just too soon ‘cause I just broke up with the ex. But things are going well it seems between me and the love. Maybe it was the fact that I got to know her since 2009? I am not sure though but one thing’s for sure; things are going well between her and me.
But one thing that sucked in long term relationship between two people is that people will know that the both of you are in a relationship. A lot of people will know. I don’t like that though I liked it during the times I am with the ex. but it seems it kinda sucked now. People keep asking shit and this that and that shit annoys me to the bone. But what can I say? People ask and I answer. The truth.

Whatever. I am writing out this still high from the wonderful sleep I had just 20 minutes ago. I woke up and turned on this laptop. How awesome is that. Luckily I did not own a Nokia E7. If I do, the moment I woke up, slide the out the keys and would immediately typing out stuffs. Like this crap right now. So yeah, my dream phone is that Nokia E7 and the only phone that goes close to that is Nokia C6-00. Lame, I know but fuck you. I am a Nokia fanboy okay. Do dig that Android shit but I think Android is way too overrated. I dig Symbian. And currently Nokia is releasing its Windows OS phones. That is awesome. If one of the phones has this slide out keys, I am more than ready to starve myself for the phones.

Arghh. This is pure crap I am writing.

To you...

Come and steal my heart,
In your heart, please do hide me away,
I’m all alone, I’m afraid, I may be lost.
I’m afraid; I may drift away from you,
So come closer and lock me in an embrace.

Let your heart beat; spread out your tresses,
Let your veil unfurl.
Your locks, you will spread,
May it not cause darkness,

Let there be a downpour; I have things to say to you,
That I am crazy for you; I’d die for you,
That’s what everybody says; but I will really do it.

With a pinch of vermillion; I am going to make you my bride,
Who knows what the future holds; let’s all do it now,
Whether someone approves or not; our heart is what matters most

Come steal me from myself,
And hide me somewhere in your heart,
May I not lose my way,
May I not drift away from you,
Come closer and embrace me.

p/s-I love you.

UPSI and whatever…

Seems that UPSI is getting way outta hand. I just checked the student’s portal and I found out the latest news and quite interesting too.



This shit is like wow right? I immediately downloaded the PDF version of the AUKU shit. And I my eyes prowl for this Kaedah 48 shit. And what did I found?

Hukuman tatatertib
48. Seseorang pelajar yang melakukan kesalahan tatatertib di bawah Kaedah-Kaedah ini didapati bersalah atas kesalahan itu boleh dikenakan mana-mana satu atau mana-mana gabungan dua atau lebih hukuman yang sesuai berikut:-
a) amaran
b) denda tidak melebihi dua ratus ringgit
c) dilarang daripada mana-mana bahagian atau nahagian tertentu Universiti bagi tempoh yang ditetapkan;
d) digantung daripada menjadi seorang pelajar Universiti bagi tempoh yang ditetapkan;
e)dipecat daripada Universiti.
(Akta Universiti dan Kolej Universiti 1971, Tatatertib Pelajar-Pelajar)

I was like, wow. I saw and read nothing on clothing. What is this UPSI? Some kind of oppressive movement? Since when is wearing clothes to one’s liking be an offence here? This shit is ridiculous. I don’t know that wearing clothes not to the guard’s or whoever there is preferences are an offence. Fuck it.

OKUS...

I dedicate this post to my man @JoseSuen. Yeah. Like what I said in my previous posts, I am not that good at dedications but I think this post is more like sharing of what I have gone through before.

So @JoseSuen, you broke your leg. And I can feel the pain the first few minutes after the adrenaline rush had gone. It’s not that I can feel, it is more like I remembered how painful the pain was like after the first few minutes past. So you got into hospital and got hospitalized for a broken leg. Moreover, your bones had broken into two. I had that before. But that was at my left arm and I was like 10 years old. And I did not get hospitalized despite that I have two broken bones in my left arm. Whatever, I feel you man. This is like your first time you got your body parts broken and shit. I feel you though.

I still remembered the first time I broke my arm. I was like helpless and I was making shit out of everything. Even the simplest of things were hard for me. Like changing the channel for instance, I was like hollering to my siblings so that they change channels and shit. And my right arm was alright and functioning. But the time for dependency did not last long. I was really tested when I went to school and met all my friends. With my arm sling hanging from my neck, there was a time that I wanted to quit school because of my arm. The pain was excruciating and a day at school was like a day trip to hell. People were staring and asking and shit. But I got through it. Breaking an arm was like the end of the world for some. Moreover if one were to break a leg. The lack of one functioning body part was unbearable.

But I determined @JoseSuen. I determined that I would not let my broken arm to be in the way of my life. I determined that my broken arm would make me stronger than before. And I determined that I would fasten the length of time this broken arm would heal. I play. I go out. I eat with my heart’s content. That’s what I did @JoseSuen. The very first thing that I’ve done was making an instant noodle by properly cooking on the stove and stop making one with the water heater. That was my first step to independence. I know you can cook your noodles on the stove but you’re not confident. I know that. That expression on your face said it all. You know what I would do? I’d get that white stool (kerusi putih) that’s always been used by you to eat, and before cooking the noodle, I would put that white stool near the stove where it would easy for me to sit and monitor the noodle. With that stool nearby, you can stand and sit while waiting for the noodle to be done. Once it’s done, you can use your other leg to stand and pour the noodle onto the bowl from the kuali or whatever there are. For your first few times, I would be gladly to help you out. After that I know you can stand on your own. And from there too, you can progress from noodles to whatever you
want.

And for your leg, you should do something to fasten the healing time. Taking milk is a good start. I think I took milk before this too. Then you should do some light exercises just to get that leg to work again. What I did before was holding spoons and chopsticks. For you, I think you should stand lightly one foot and that’s about it. Do for a few minutes and you’re done. I can only think of that as a light exercise for you. Yeah, I know it’s gonna be painful and shit. The first few times are always painful. That pain would then deter you from doing more. Don’t stop at all even though the pain is unbearable. Just bear it for a while. Think of it as a small
step for better times ahead. No pain no gain, no guts no glory right?

I am writing this to you because I share the pain as you did. Having a broken body part is not an easy thing to go through. But we have to go through it because we’re chosen to have this kind of injury. We are the lucky ones to have all this injury. Imagine what story we can share with our sons later? We already have the wisdom of having broken body parts and we can share that with our sons so that they would be more careful and shit. We are the lucky ones @JoseSuen. Believe me. We are real man for having this kind of injury. I broke my bones twice. So I am manlier than you. Haha.

People that have not broken anything can say whatever they want because they have not gone through what we have gone through. They can make fun of us, laugh at us, shit at us but we know better. They can say this and that but do they know what it really felt like? No. Since they can only talk and not actually really felt what we felt, it is better to just laugh with them and not get offended. We know how karma can be a
bitch right?

I might be younger than you but take this piece of advice from me as a brother to you. I have gone through this pain twice and I know what I am talking about. So yeah. That’s it.

First Borns...

First Born…
I am a first born and I am feeling the burden now. It’s not a burden I would say, but the feeling of responsibility is already catching up on me. I can now say that experience is a very good teacher in life. I can safely say that Mr. Experience is teaching me hard now. Very hard. I’ve done a lot of thinking these past few days. Reality is a kind of bitch I would say. But everybody can say that reality and real life is a bitch. Now I know why. I don’t know. Is it that I think too much or what?

It seemed that I fucked up already. I should have not made that decision a long time ago. Things are starting to sort themselves out slowly and I am slowly realizing it. Wow. I don’t know, like what people said, the sweeter things in life come first than the bitter things. I don’t even know what the hell I am saying right now.
Like what my teacher told us before, from the way he told us back in 2006, it seemed that it was a parable of some kind. Here goes;

‘Life is like a see-saw. Each end of the see-saw is divided into two elements, sweeter things in life and bitter things in life. People can choose which side to sit but have to face the consequence later. The option is up to us on where to sit. For people that chose to go for the bitter side first, they will experience the bitter experience first then they will receive the sweeter things in life. To those who went to go to the sweeter side first, they will experience all the good things in life first but then, the bitter part will catch up with them sooner or later. To them that are wise, they will go with the bitter part first and the vice versa to them that chose the vice versa.’

Thinking back, I do realize that what he told us is so true in a lot of ways. True that experience can make men wiser and all and wisdom can only be gained only through experience, but the transition from experience to wisdom is not an easy task to go through. Going through the experience is kind of painful and all, but the things gained from the experience can help a lot.

Right now, I am so guilty towards my parents. They have been working their asses off to feed us their children. Working to give us what we need and all. This year is quite tough for them. I know. With my sister going off for her studies, and then the trip to Singapore and me, with my rented house shit, they are going through a lot now. And I am at guilt at the most immense level now. I don’t know, maybe this is what people said, the coming of age. And I am coming to the age of the adults now. And I am not quite that ready to go through all that.

I don’t know what I should do to ease their burdens. You see, being the first born bears a lot of responsibilities. It’s not easy being the first born of the family. People looked up to you, expecting that we can be the family’s pride and all that. But now I see that I am not that kind of first born. My sister is kind of the family’s pride now. Don’t get me wrong, I am not envious towards my sister at all. In fact, I am very proud of her doing better than me. It’s just that, when people suddenly took notice that the one younger than me is doing a lot better than me, the expectations and all the whatnot that I’ve gone through all this while is all gone now. And I am not used to that even though that’s what I wanted. Things don’t feel right. Maybe I got what I wished for. Well, maybe not all first born are meant to do great. And I am one of them. Maybe. We never know. I don’t know how to make it up with my parents. They have this son that is really not what they expected. I won’t go to the length to say that I am a failure but I can consider that.

At the back of my head, I kept thinking that I am not making the lives of my parents any easier. Sometimes, I think that, what I am doing now is just making it worse for them. I am not a parent yet but I kind of getting the glimpse of what is in their head. And thinking back, I am kind of the black sheep of the family. I get this bad temper, I do things my way all the time and all. Go ask and you’ll know. I don’t know what got into me this evening. At one point, I feel ashamed to face my own family. I have done a lot of fucked up shit that I am not proud of. Now that I have this rented house thing going on, plus the BMX thing and shit, I know that I have fucked up. Real big. I am not a great role model for my brothers back home. I know. I just know.

I don’t know what to do. I can on and on bashing myself but they won’t make things better. I am writing this to let myself feel relieved in some way. Writing releases me from reality in a way or another. To be honest, after lots of thinking, I get that I depressed. Not depressed in that bad way or another, I just don’t know how to put it into words.

I screwed up.

That’s it. Being the first born is not easy.

Things... again I guess?

Dear Adi,

Much reading about the history of my religion made me think that, what actually am I doing all this while? Should I be a deist? Someone who just believes in the #supremeforce rather than the religion as a whole. I think I'll do that for the rest of my life.

Drop the holier than thou attitude too. Evryone got their own way of believing and I am no exception. Sometimes I do get pissed off by people that often asks me to go to church but they themselves are some ass. I am an ass too but I don't involve other people.

Make time to read the world history, the current news, the whatever that interests you. Just don't read stupid stuffs like the Freemason or Illuminato thingy. That is just stupid. Them Freemasons are against the Catholics by the ways but things are cool with them Catholics. I don't take much care because this things are just plain waste of time. Ignorant?Yes. Read more? Yes.

For atheists alike. I am not one 'cause I am in Malaysia. Enough as a deist. Agnostic? I am not sure I can go that way. I'll just go with being a deist. Anyways, atheists out there, stick to your believe of not believing that gods ain't exist. What's up with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Get your views straight people.

Get a hobby. I recently got a new one. BMX. Sure made me fill my time and not think things that are wasteful. Any hobby is fine as long as you're digging them and anything.

And, I believe that religion or whatever is personal. There's no need to show the whole world that you're religious or whatever. No one's interested. I know I don't.

And... For you out there that is still confused about what are yur beliefs are, keep searching. Who knows of what you might ended up with. yeah.

I don't know if this note here is relevant to what was Redha wrote before, but anyways, it felt good.

Harimau Malaya...

Alright. Opinions time again. It’s been sometime since I’ve posted my opinions here. So yeah, Harimau Malaya versus the Lions. The match was last night during the writing of this entry. As most of my Facebook friends go, they knew which team I go for. The Lions. The previous match, The Garuda versus Harimau Malaya, I go for the Garuda. Why? Why I go for the opposing team instead of Harimau Malaya? Easy. MALAYA.

For those in the know, Malaya consists of the peninsula and not the whole of Malaysia itself. The name Malaya stands until today. Go check the constitution. Malaysia was made up of Malaya, Singapore, Sarawak and Sabah. So, the name Harimau Malaya implies only to one side only and not the whole Malaysia. Since Singapore is out, Sarawak and Sabah and Malaya is what Malaysia is now. So… Harimau Malaya is out from my team of choice. I better off support some Indonesia because she’s on the same land as Sarawak and Sabah. See? I’d go for Brunei anytime if they joined the fray. Any team would do as long not Harimau Malaya.

Call me unpatriotic or whatever, but I stand on this. The name of a team reflects the team itself. Harimau Malaya? I don’t know, but the majority of the players there are from Malaya itself. That Joseph guy from Sarawak? During the matchup against Chelsea, he played. And that’s it. Versus The Lions and The Garuda? Nada. Kapoot. Zero. And I am not patriotic? Wow. I stand by Sarawak anytime. If there are equal number of players from three corners of Malaysia and the team’s name is not Harimau Malaya, I’ll go support Malaysia, period. But, since there are no equal number of players from each corners of Malaysia and the team’s name is Harimau Malaya, count me out. Like I said above, the team’s name is for Malaya and not the whole of Malaysia. I am not patriotic towards Malaya, but I give my loyalty towards Lady Sarawak. Yeah? I got stuck here in Malaya only for my studies and nothing else. I don’t know why there are so few public universities in Sarawak but a whole lot of private ones. Weird. Anyways, logically, Malayans must support Harimau Malaya because it’s Malaya’s team, while we Borneoans just stand by the side. Logically. But logics is dead now.

I read in one of the Facebook’s group thingy which I was added into, sarcasms are rampant but not enough to make me waver from my stands or whatever. I paraphrased some of them, here goes;
‘As long as the team’s name is Malaysia, we must support and give our backs into it. And if your ID still states Malaysian, your support must be given to them no matter what (got a lot more but my mind refused to register more turds into the brain.)
‘We Malaysian must give our support to Harimau Malaya! No matter what.’
And guess what, my favorite comment of the day:
‘They’re (Harimau Malaya) is losing. Give it a rest.’
And the comment above is not from me. I am serious.

Here’s the problem Ultra Harimau Malaya from Borneo supporters, the name is already a turn off for Borneoans like us. With that name, does that mean we Sarawakians and Sabahans are left behind? Does it mean that the Malayans are superior to us? Where is our part in that team? See? I refused to support that team even when there are no options left. Hell, since that I am a citizen of Borneo, I will give my support to Indonesia. Mainly because she’s sharing the same Borneo land with Sarawak and Sabah. More rational too. You will die in Borneo someday too. Unless you’re going to be dead somewhere else that is your problem. If you’re planning to die in Malaya, then go support them. I know I’ll die in Sarawak. So my support won’t be going out for them Harimau Malaya or Malaya for that matter.

I guess the Sarawakians and Sabahans are still blind ehh to what Malaya is doing toward our land. And the minds of the young. I may not have seen much but I can see a bit. Blinded by the mass media and shits.

Go Go Singapore! Let the Lions out!

Go Go Garuda! Let the Garuda soar the sky!

Peace!

p/s- Why does the Harimau seemed inferior in comparison to these two teams?

Wow... Right?

I watched this. And digging them so much.

First dates...

I watched 50 First Dates yesterday. I know, I am a slowpork. Whatever. Gotta admit this, I love watching movies like that. Romantic comedy type of movies, I dig. I smiled watching that movie, I just don’t know why. One thing is for sure, I cannot be Henry Roth, the character Adam Sandler played. The patient, loving, funny and whatever else is there. I don’t know, but I am so not convinced I can be that type of guy. I think.

That movie reminded me of the first time I met my current love. I don’t know how to put this but I and she have known each other for a long time. Just not that close. We got close during the night of her birthday. Wait, it was a few minutes after the clock struck twelve. It was her birthday, 12th of May. And I got to spent time with her the very first few hours of her birthday with her. Thanks to her for bringing me out that night. Since that night, the ball started rolling. Rolling really fast.

We go on a few dates at the Lutong beach, just spending time with each other and enjoying each other’s company. I never felt like what I had felt with her than when I had spent time with my ex. Well, I just can talk on and on and on and feel good about it. Her presence is just so comfortable to be with. And I can be myself when I am with her. Really be myself. I can sing songs to her, share stories with her and just be comfortable around her. Like really comfortable. I don’t know, her presence makes me feel like wanting to put my head on her laps. We share many interests together, especially in romantic movies. Damn it. I dig romantic movies. I blame it on Shakespeare in Love I watched a few years back. Since then, I kinda dig this kinda movies. Well, now that I found this girl that shared the same interests as I am, all is good. We loved foods, going to the malls and many other things. At one time, I even wondered why I didn’t let her into my life earlier on. My mistakes.

Now that we are together, 2nd of June 2011, I just can’t let my head off of her. Kept thinking of her after my class, eager of wanting to call her just to hear her voice and all, it even felt weird if I didn’t call her in one day. I called her every night before we went into bed so that I can hear her voice lingering in me when I sleep later on. The ecstasy of falling head over heels over someone all over again is so great. I just can’t get enough of her company. Her presence completes me I suppose.

I call her Diana James. That’s her name. I am so very much in love with her now. Yeah, I just broke up and whatever, but who cares? I know I don’t. I’ve met someone better than my ex now, and I am happy with her now. It’s amazing how simple a person’s presence in our life will be the greatest thing that will happen some time later. I know that she and I can go far this time. Let’s hope so. I wanted to last long with her. I should be thankful for her for waiting for me though. I am lost for words. Seriously. I am gonna give her a call now. That’s all.

Peace!

Happy Father's Day pops...

As I am sitting in this dark room, my rented room in this rented house, I am spending time to write this entry for my pops. Yeah, my pops. The greatest man in my life. Like seriously, the greatest man in my life.

How are you pops? I hope you’re okay there. In our house, with the two monkeys that still roams there. Miss the two dudes. haha.

I was attending Reading for Aesthetics class this week. It was some introduction about literature is and what not. Puan Ainon was her name if I am not mistaken. Whatever there, she was making us read a poem by Robert Hayden which titled Those Winter Sundays. Here goes;

Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he’d call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love’s austere and lonely offices?
(poetryfoundation.org)

This poem struck me hard. Real hard. I was reading this poem in the class for several times. I know it was all about a father’s love and that’s it. I am lost for words in trying to explain it further. A lengthy explanation by Puan Ainon finally reveals through what the poem really means. It was a father’s love towards his kids but he didn’t show it openly and the poet was reminiscing it when he had grown up and all. It was shown by the actions that the father was doing for his kids. And that was the moment that really made my heart went *dup dap dup dap*

My head went straight to pops at home. The poem brought me straight to the times when momma went for her studies in 2003. I think? I don’t quite remember. Pops was taking care of us until 2006. That was the year when momma graduated.

Pops, I don’t know what to say to you, honestly. I am lost for words. I always do. I know that during those times when momma was not by your side you were so very much challenged in your role a parent. To top it off, Arig’s presence with his congekness really made you tested. It was 2003 and I was only 11. What do I know? All I know was what the breakfast gonna be in the morning. And yet, the breakfast will always be on the table despite Arig’s tantrum the night before. Us your kids would just divulge the breakfast without even thinking what you have been through the whole night. And there you would send us to school after sending Arig to mayang’s.
After all is done, the dinner would be a guaranteed to be served on the table even though you were freakin’ tired after a day’s work. And then you will always have to take care of little Arig. We your kids would just watch television and do nothing to ease you up. All we know, why were you always sleeping much early than all of us would. That is after you managed to settle Arig down. Which is HARD WORK. We knew what we’re supposed to do. Slow the television down and went to bad not long after that. Which I don’t remember doing often. This goes on and on until 2006 though it gradually got easier by the year.

One thing I always wanted to hear is your words of wisdom, pops. Seriously. I love hearing them. One that I still remembered till now is this;

‘find a girl not on her looks, but deep inside. Don’t find girls that loves to shop, love to get over dressed up or too sociable (something like that) or else she’s gotta cost you so much. Find a girl that’s decent on the eyes, not too beautiful yet not too fucked up (again, something like that). Find a girl that respects you, accepts you for who you are and you can have fun with her.‘

That one piece of wisdom really stuck in my head till. I am so sure that I will pass that down to kids of my own. One thing you always put an emphasis is, ‘you cannot survive on love alone.’ The first time you told me that, I agreed straight away and I am so gonna practice in real life. Yeah? There are lots of your pieces of wisdom that are in my head. I just put some here and the rest would be passed down onto your grandkids yeah? And yeah, you told us your sons that the name Along must be passed down to our kids, we sure will do. I gonna make my brothers put down Along in their kid’s name. *haha*

So yeah… Happy Father’s Day from all of us pops. Forgive us your kids if we have done anything wrong towards you. Thanks for the love and care that you have give us all this while. If there’s anything you need, you know where to look for us. Especially Adeline and I which are so far away from home.
Take care pops and don’t forget the meds.

Peace!
PS- Missing the man of my life. Hope that you'll be there to see you're first grandkid.

High School dreams...

High school dreams. This is the time when all dreams are sweet and nothing seem can go wrong during this time. True, this is the time when our parents seemed to be controlling everything and we always thought that their actions are wrong all the way. Teenage angst FTW. With our world experience not reaching 20 years plus, we egoistically thought that our actions were right and our way are the best way. How wrong.

My momma always told me to keep my options open when it comes to girls. And I heroically told her that I am not that type of guy that thought girls as options. I am a one woman man kinda guy. Or so it seems. Well, now I know what my momma meant. There are a lot of girls out there. And each are beautiful. And, now I am starting to believe that there is a woman out there perfectly made for me. Now, that’s a surprise. Fate to me is kinda hard to believe, moreover to rely on. Fate is determined by an individual and that’s it. But then, I don’t know. Maybe there is a woman out there made perfectly just for me.

What’s that gotta do with the title above? For early lovebirds out there, I know that once you get in love during schooling time, the world is just an awesome place to live. You started to think that you can survive with your love and just live perfectly happy till one of you return to some lump of dusts. Everywhere you go, the phone won’t budge from your palm and every tone the phone made will quickly silenced by you. Laughs there. You smiled when you read his/her texts and whatever there is. The clothes would be the sharpest out there and your physique will be taken very seriously for your love’s eye candy. What the hell, the eau da parfum you never fond of before will suddenly be your favourite item out there. All you want to do is get married and have sex. Kononnya that is love. You tell everyone bout your boo and even dedicate songs every single day if not hours. Damn. Nobody gets more perfect than your boo and no one touches him or STARE at your boo but you. Your boo is your life and your life’s mate. That’s high school love.

Real life? Very much contrary than what’s above. Real married life is not as happy as you might seem. Bills gotta pay, foods on the table, work and shit. Quoting my pops, ‘You cannot survive on love alone.’ Very true there pops. I know. I worked before. Experiencing money shortage is not what you want to experience. Especially when you drive to work. I did. Your eyes won’t leave the gauge fearing that the fuel would fuck you up. And no money means no date. No date equals what? You get the idea. Again, quoting me pops,

‘find a girl not on her looks, but deep inside. Don’t find girls that loves to shop, love to get over dressed up or too sociable (something like that) or else she’s gotta cost you so much. Find a girl that’s decent on the eyes, not too beautiful yet not too fucked up (again, something like that). Find a girl that respects you, accepts you for who you are and you can have fun with her. ‘

There’s more and I can’t remember ‘em all. He gave me this piece of advice in 2006 or late 2005. I’m not quite sure. That’s why I love that old man. He got tons of advice for his kids and I am damn sure I did not heed most of it. Most but not all. That’s wisdom for ya.

Shit right. Now that I am not in a steady relationship anymore, I felt different. I got to know this one girl and kinda digging her. I knew her for 2 years plus already. She’s just a friend during those years while I am with the no more love. Gotta keep ya options open boy.

Peace!

PS- don’t go too fast or else. There’s nothing there to have fun with.

Life and mistakes...

My first June entry. What should I say now? Owh yeah. The love is now not the love. Broken up with her. Personal stuffs so the story won’t be told here. Keep up with the guessing game yeah? So… let me see, life is beating me up now. Kinda. I suppose so. Whatever. The amount of beating I can get vary by time so, if I looked kinda cranky, forgive me so ‘cause life is having a fun time with me. I’m only having a good time when life doen’t give a damn about me for one bit. That’s when I get happy. Seriously I don’t why. Like in my previous posts, I am a very weird person. I don’t give a damn about anything. Yeah right.

Mistakes. Every homosapiens sapiens living and breathing in this little blue planet will and must do mistakes. Damn, even robots made mistakes once in a while? Jesus? Go ask him. Even the big G made mistakes, I guess. If not, why the poverty and shits? I’m just saying. I do made mistakes. And every one of my mistakes have their story behind them. Well, I made a terible one and I am so sure that I am so gonna regret it in the future. Karma is a bitch baby. Despite all, I believe in karma. Karma is a thing that I Justin Timberlake sang as What Goes Around, Comes Around. Ten times harder. Dammit. What shall I do? Pray? One thing’s for sure, prayer doesn’t help them Gaza folks a lot. Rocks does. The thing is, I rarely prayed formally. Like the way Catholics are supposed to be. We memorized prayers and said it out loud during Sunday Services. I did that. I only prayed my way during that special time in mass and I won’t say it here fearing the backlash later. Naahh. We Christians are very forgiving aren’t we? *wink wink* Well, that’s what Lil JC taught right?

There’s something in common human beings are made of. Most of us earthen or dusts will only turn to the big G when shit happens. Don’t bullshit me. To say that you fan dusts prayed when something joyous happened is pure shit. The most of you, including moi (which is RARELY) would utter out is thank God. Hell, we wouldn’t wanna see mass prayers suddenly in the middle of a birthday party, would we? Them atheists, they are the coolest. When shit happens, the only thing they do is, look up and shouted ‘WHY??’ and walked away like every normal day. I don’t know, but that’s what a normal human being would do. Turn to the Ultimate Force when shit happens and then forget ‘bout ‘em when the prayers are granted or whatever good happens. Hey, Pope Benedict did that I suppose. Things like the above are what we earthen dolls are made of. Smile? Nahh, leave that to the Thais. What else are what we clays are made of supposedly? Religion? Nahh… there are four major world religions for now. Judaism and Zoroaster? (hope I got that one right) The two are exclusive for members only. Yeah. That makes religion out. What else? I don’t know. But I sure damn know that things said above occurred to most animated lump of clay over the world. Most, ‘cause the dead can’t decide. What?
So yeah. I rant badly.

Peace!

Ps-Shout outs to Amoi!

Choices...

My mama always told me to keep my options open when it comes to life. These past few weeks, I finally got what she meant. I am enjoying my time now. Kinda. The love, or the soon to be no love or whatever there is, I don't know. Shit happens. Yeah. That's it. I got nothing. Home is too awesome for some critical thinking.

Peace!

Love...

Hey baby... It has been three years already since we have said THE WORD. 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011. Wow right? I didn't expect this either. Staying in love with the same person for the last 36 months is kinda an amazing feat that I myself kinda intrigued with. I don't know know. I just am. Things and times happens so fast that, without realizing, it has been three years already. The first year, the second year, and now. Time really do flies. Especially when we are together. Seems that the dates that we had were just so short and yeah. We were always complaining about the time running and flying so fast when already had our fun.

I don't know baby. Three years we're together, that three years we celebrated our anniversary away from each other. Kinda used to it but I do wished that we can celebrate it together sometimes. Kinda lonely without you here sometimes baby. But life gotta move right?

Loving you is the most beautiful thing that happened to me. Trials and tribulations come and go but there you are still. Smiling ever so sweetly and staying by my side. It was you who taught me that women are beautiful and not as what them egoistics portrayed. Kinda weird right?haha. I don't know. I just say out words that seemed right to you and that's it.

The picture above was taken the day you were leaving for Kuching. It's some MeDSI test or what. 29th of April. I never failed to sent you off since the day you went for matriculation. I would be the last to leave the airport. haha. Dammit. I missed you baby. Trying to survive here. Well... we always do survive the times and all that yeah?

I love you and thanks for making this journey a beautiful one. Cliche but that's it.

May...

First May entry. I ain't got nothing up in me.

Just Tag...

Starting time: 11:04 PM

Name: Adi Zechariah Along

Sisters: Adeline

Brothers: Avit & Arig

Eye Color: Black? Brown? I don't know.

Shoe size: 8/9/10

Hair: Short and standing.

Piercings: I ain't gonna pierce my ears. erghh

Height: I am short. Nuff said.

What are you wearing right now?: My battered shorts and shirtless FTW.

Where do you live?: Miri.

Favorite number: 7. I just don't know why.

Favorite drink: Sweet and cold. Except for beers and stuffs. Not a fan.

Favorite month: December.

Favorite breakfast: A good o' COLD Milo would do the trick.

***********Have You Ever***********

broken a bone: Yes, twice baby.

been in a police car: Yerps..

been on a plane: Yes, Mademoiselle.

been in a hot tub: What's that?.

swam in the ocean: Nopes. Not a swimmer.

fallen asleep in school: Yes and loving it.

broken someone’s heart: I think so.

cried when someone died?: I am cold.

fell off your chair: Yerps.

sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: No. Dreamland is better.

saved e-mails:Yerps..

been cheated on: I don't know. Have I?

***********What is************

your room like?: Which room?.

what is right beside you?: A mug, my wallet and some books.

what is the last thing you ate?: Nasi goreng mata. Cool.

———————-Ever Had- ————————-

chicken pox: Yes.

sore throat: Yeap.

stitches: Yeps. On my head.

broken nose: Nopes.

————————-Do You————————–

believe in love at first sight?: Nopes. Save them for lame Korean soaps.

like picnics: Kinda.

———————————————————

who was the last person you danced with?: Never danced with someone before.

who last made you smile?: Me peeps.

————————–Who—————————

did you last yell at?: No one. I guess.

do you wear contact lenses or glasses?: 20/20 vision. Hell Yeah.

———-Final Questions————-

what are you listening to right now?:Spiritualized- Soul on Fire.

what did you do today?: Games and thinking.

diamond or pearl?: Diamond.

are you the oldest?: Yes. And loving it.

indoors or out doors?: Outdoors.:D

——————Today did you———————-

1. talk to someone you care for?: Yups.

2. kiss anyone?: Arig. Few days ago.

3. get sick?: Nopes..

4. sing?: Humming?.

5. talk to an ex?: Nope.

6. miss someone: Yes..

7. eat: Kinda watching the diet.

—————-Last person who——————

8. you talked to on the phone?: Me gal.

9. made you cry?: Should I?

10. went to the movies with?: That was way long time ago.

11. you went to the mall with?: My family.

——————Have you——————-

19. been to Mexico?: No.

20. been to USA?: Wishing to.

——————-Random——————–

21. have a crush on someone?: I once had.

22. what books are you reading right now?: RIDEBMXUK.

24. future kids names?: I won't say it.

25. do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Yups. Laugh all you want.

26. what’s under your bed: Planks?.

27. favorite sport(s) to watch: Wrestling and X-Games.

28. favorite place: Home.

32. who do you really hate?: Hating is a sin.

33. do you have a job?: Naaa.

37. What time is it now?: 11.30 PM

38. Done?: last questions? : I don't care.

Thanks Adeline for this questions. haha. Check her out.

http://notquiteawesome.blogspot.com/

Peace!

Lady Sarawak...

So....my dear Sarawak is having her elections now. I’ll tell my Lady Sarawak’s story. Cool right? I am referring Sarawak as Lady Sarawak. Whatever. I’ll tell a story about a forgotten agreement of Lady Sarawak and Mademoiselle Sabah. But I am more towards my Lady Sarawak yeah? She’s my lady after all. And yeah. This shit here will be told in an informal matter. So…STFU.

1. Religion. O my Lady Sarawak, you ain’t got no official religion of your own. You are an atheist. That’s what makes you so cool, my lady. Your stupid partner has his official religion, but being a cool lady, you don’t mind that. As long what applies to your partner, doesn’t apply to you. Not only you, my lady. Your sister, Mademoiselle Sabah, also included in this agreement. But who knows what made her change her mind.

2. Language. Yeah. Being a lady, you agreed that the company’s official lingua franca would be some strange unrecognizable language internationally. Except for Madame Indonesia’s language, that is used internationally, although only in Google Translate. You don’t mind. You’re cool. So they said that your language should be used for a period of ten years after the merger. You’re cool. You agreed, my lady. But then, your subjects forgot that your language, English, is your official language. You don’t wanna follow your partner’s official language. You have your own. But then…

3. Constitution. The formation of the company is largely based on your partner’s side and you somewhat don’t agree. A new draft must be formed for you and Mademoiselle Sabah. So… you go girl!

4. Head of Federation. Well, in my opinion, lady, this part of the agreement is kinda not fair. Why your husband is are not allowed to be the head of the company? Why only your partner’s gay boyfriend can be the head of the federation? Come on my lady. Say something.

5. Name of federation. This one you rock! The name of the company must be the one agreed on. Your partner is kinda selfish there. It’s ok, my lady. You guys win here. Who wants a company that is named weirdly? Hell, if that name were used, I bet the Borneo sisters and brothers would rise up and fight and shit.

6. Immigration. O Lady Sarawak, I like this one. It shows that no one messes with the lady. No one from your partner’s side can be allowed to enter to your side without any valid papers. Yeah. You go show them lady. But… What’s with Mademoiselle Sabah taking back what she agreed on? What? Is she that hypocrite?

7. No right to secede. Pardon me my lady. WHAT THE FUCK. Why your first husband treated you like this? He can go on leaving you but you cannot file for a divorce? That’s some fucked up shit right there. Seriously. Oh well… I know the people from your side would be more than glad to file for a divorce ehh?

8. Borneanisation. Your people should work for you and you only, my lady. But what the hell are your partner’s midgets doing here, my lady? But what the hell. Our people are problematic also.

9. British Officers. Every effort should be made for British Officers to stay in public service. Need anymore?

10. Go find the rest yourself.

Lady Sarawak. From my point of view, it seems that you are violated. I will always be by your side my lady. Just that you need to stand for yourself. Your first husband was mistreated and defeated in the most coward way. I’m, no, we your people will always be at your side be it bad or worse or vice versa.

Peace~

Writer's Block...

I have run out of shit to talk in this dear ol’ Soul. It has been proven with my last entry. BMX vs MTB? That really shows. I guess I have this writers block plaguing me for quite some time now. Argh. It’s 0946 hours on my laptop’s clock now. What should I be doing? I don’t effing now.

So… I’ll be staying alone next semester. ALONE. Why? May be because that my homeboys are some degree students and they will have this god-long holiday for their semester break. 4 months to be exact. Yeah. Malaysian government. You know how they are. Shit. I really have nothing to say here. Back to the story, my semester break later, I am so gonna learn how to cook. I MUST. I can’t imagine myself eating fried or boiled eggs and rice every single day for the whole semester. I got my momma and pops to teach me. Yeah. I know, I know. Shutup.

I’ll be meeting the love this semester break. Dammit. Half year of not seeing each other really gonna make the date later so awkward. I just know it.

That’s it.

Peace!

BMX? MTB? So what...

Okay-okay, it’s BMX versus mountain bikes to be exact. Why? I don’t know. I have my review regarding these two bikes. MY OPINION. Not anybody else’s opinion. I got sunburned today after today’s adventure and it has been a while since I have updated this old Soul. So yeah… shall we? First will be the mountain bikes because there LOTS of you guys out there are riding one.

MTBs

Well… what can I say about this baby? It’s fast, dangerous and everything else. I do start my cycling world with a mountain bike. Fully rigid MTB to be exact. Do you guys even know what’s a fully rigid bike is?haha. Yeah. I rode a hardtail last week and today. Which makes it two weeks of hardtail riding. So yeah, it was FUN. Better than sex I shall say. The speed, the danger, the exhaustion and whatever else. FUN to the core. So we rode a mild offroad trail, Sungai Samak trail for those in the know. So… being a hardtail, one actually have to stand on the pedals when it comes to holes or some terrain shit that lies ahead. From my retarded opinion, it’s very unwise to have this super high seatpost when riding offroad. You’re just torturing the balls. You’re future name bearer is in the balls. Haha. Again, from what I saw, the MTB riders in Tanjung Malim rode this big ass hardtails onroad. Even the full sussies onroad. Like WTFuck? These kinda riders really put these kinda MTBs to shame. Yeah. Go watch Redbull 5000 Down or Redbull Kyoto Holy Ride, than you guys what MTBs are really meant for. Those babies are not for onroads. Damn. If you guys just want to ride onroad, go get that shit-ass small tired bikes and go get laid. What? Yeah seriously guys. Those big ass MTBs aren’t meant for that damn road. Go abuse that MTBs yeah? I know I abused my homeboys’ MTBs real good. Haha. Disc brakes, hardtailed, one hell of good bearings and a light frame. Damn. Haha. I wanted to ride a full sussie and abuse it bad. Redbull style. Well, to George, I am sorry for your dirty ass bike. I got it cleaned up and I hope those forks can last ‘cause after that hard riding, I read a forks usage warning. DO NOT USE FOR HARD RIDING OR FREERIDING. Nooo~~ Haha. The forks got what it is used for though. Damn.

BMXs

Well… my newfound love. Yes. LOVE. Thanks to TF Etnies No Bikes Allowed BMX edit, I have fallen miserably for this kinda bike. Okay, my first BMX? This year. February to be exact. Haha. I am very new to these bikes. I ride street and that’s really a challenge. Haha. I mean, getting the tricks done on time and not fall face first. Haha. Falling face first is really a good indicator that this sport is very the dangerous. I got 180 dialled in already. But not the fakie though. Failed at that. My bunnyhop looked funny. On my way to improve all of my already acquired tricks. So yeah. The BMX really challenge the mental real hard and makes you know your body well. Damn. And to those who loved pain and getting frustrated, BMX is for you. I love BMX because the challenge it brings. Patience and passion is key to BMX. And money too. Haha. For now, I have busted the rear wheel, the rear brakes, the seatpost, the handlebars and everything else. I busted my palm, scrapped my knees, shatter my egos and all. Haha. Damn. Well… things we do for love. I am gonna upgrade my BMX by next semester. Ne wheels, paint scheme and seat. The rest can wait. One by one. Hehe.

Conclusion

Combining the two worlds really is epic. I can bunnyhop a MTB and I can handle the MTB like my BMX. So yeah. I am in love with both now.

MOMMA!!

Readers, sorry...

Yeah. A long time since I am not blogging. I am PISSED off. I am sorry to those who wants to read Nota untuk Kekasih Pertama. I am so sorry. Miss Wandering Soul is on a hell bent after reading that piece of memorabilia. Sorry again. I know I have posted the link on Facebook and where ever else. Yeah. I got princess-controlled. She's not married yet and so, the title queen is not relevant. So princess. yeah?

He owned a car. He have every access to the car. The keys, the whatever there is, it's in his hand. But then, his brother suddenly wanted to mod the car beyond recognizable. He objects, but his brother insisted on doing so. He's the parent's pet. And he had done something wrong towards his brother. So, with a heavy sigh, he let his brother do what he wants instead of him. Now that the mod had been done, the brother wanted to do something else. He felt that he kena bodoh. But then, he learned. Rage won't get him nowhere. All he could do is sigh and smile at the sight of his brother and the car he cared so much.

But he saved some money to buy another car. He got himself prepared. He knew this would happen. So, he saved some money for future use. So yeah.

I rest my case.

PS-"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."-To Have or no to Have

Happy Birthday Momma...

Happy birthday miss Lady Boss aka Momma aka ibu aka mak aka indai aka ibunda aka mother and so forth. It’s my momma’s birthday today here I am, so far away. I always complained of being that far away right? haha. Moving on.

The very first moment you woke up, kisses from the kids you would have. But this year, you received one less kiss form the kids. Sorry momma. Oh well, you’re ##(insert age here) this year. How fast time flies yeah? You were 15 and the next you’re ##(insert age here). Haha. Thank God that you still have this semangat anak muda in you, momma. You drive big cars and you’re not a soccer mum. You’re a PK HEM. What?

Yeah. You guys just had 3 kali makan when I called you just now. Wow. And I rarely have 3 kali makan here now. Haha. Arig was blaring over the background, miss that former bundle of joy. Haha.

I am bad at making dedications. Seriously. Haha. I just don’t know what to say. And in class yesterday, in what language I forgot, the word 'mama' means 'uncle'. Damn. Haha. It's okay though, we call our mum as MOMMA. Not mama.

Happy Birthday Momma. May you have a blessed year ahead, full of rezeki and importantly, you rock! Haha. Get busy with Pops yeah?

deleted post.

What the Fuck??

Where's the post??

I want to read!!

But then....

The blogger have to delete it due to some problems.

Sorry readers!

More will come!

just wait!

Note to self...

Being this lame ass and kinda suck, life is always easy. You just can whizz by life and be that ntah apa-apa dude. Yeah. I don't know. I just don't care about people. I am having fun with this bitch called life. yeah. Life is making me proud that I am living in this corrupted world and whatevers.

Notes.

You have to eat little. Bit by bit. Your belly is not your crown. It shows that you love to begelumang in one of the deadly sins, GLUTTONY. Girls won't look at dudes who like to sin. Fuck, that's a deadly sin you dumbass. Go to church and and ask forgiveness!

No one wants a dude that rides a BMX. BMX is so childish and so un-university student-ish. You should get a freakin' moutain bike whose seat is taller than your waist and ride like the world is yours. yeah. BMX are just for kids that loves jumping around getting hurt and shit. Yeah. Dudes with mountain bikes are cool. Yeah. I am a kid. So what the fuck?

You just cannot criticize your own football team. Don't ever. Your Manchester United monkey friends will think that they have successfully drag you into their pithole of shame.

That's it.

Peace!

PS-"I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw. I'm scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all... I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I'm with you."

- "Baby" Dirty Dancing

A lone ranger…

Yesterday was my birthday. 25^th of February was birthday and this is the first time that I had my birthday far from my family. Well yeah. What do you expect when you study in Malaya and your family is Sarawak? Of course the birthday will be far from the family. The feeling of farness id very much felt when you are kinda close to your family. Yeah. I could say that I am quite close to my family. Yeah. Every birthday, the moment we walked outta the door of our room after waking up, kisses and wishes would be given and that to me, is the perfect gift anyone could have. I am lucky that I get that gift every year for the rest of my current life. I don’t mind didn’t getting any gifts or wishes from others as long as I get the gifts that I have said above. Now that I am 19, how should I put this… it is kinda weird that all the gifts I usually received are not there during the birthday. But what the hell, phone calls are suffice and I am thankful for that already. Being that far from your family really do had an impact to your dear life.

Humans are different in places. Yeah. I know. For all I know, if I had my birthday back at home, all I want are some time alone and watch tv or play games peacefully or driving. Just driving where my head wants to be at. My birthday here is really lonesome. Or shall I say, pathetic? Or ironic? I don’t know. I wished that I wanted some time alone when I’m back at home, now that I am far from home, the time alone is really so lonesome and I didn’t expect that it would be that lonesome. Bullshit, I really felt alone for the first time yesterday. But yeah… I planned to celebrate my birthday at KFC or going out somewhere today, all got screwed and not according to plan. What the hell, KHAR’s usual mini night market is okay already. I bought myself a kebab and sirap oren. Nice right? And then spend some time watching random movies I stored in my laptop and then watched BMX videos up in Youtube. Yeah, I guess that my wish was granted here, instead of home. Yeah. Now that I missed home, all the wishes I wished seemed like a bad idea after all.

I missed the sounds of my family back at home. The shouts of Arig, the chats with Avit and the umpats with Adeline. And of course the house would not be complete with the meaningful nags of my momma and the advises from my pops. Yeah. Knowing that I am already accustomed to all of that, without the sounds of them, life sure is getting lonely and lifeless. Being the eldest sure sucks sometimes but that is what fate had brought along with her. No use complaining and all. I am just not used to the lonely mornings and the delicious breakfast that my folks would have prepared. Humble breakfast but heartily fulfilling.

Argh! Momma’s kuey tiow suddenly crossed my mind!

What the hell. I am getting myself a hearty breakfast later this morning. If I am able to wake up early that is. Haha. Oh well… I gotta try. At least.haha. Nevermind that.

*sigh* the love? What can I say? I usually don’t talk private shits here but yeah, can you please understand that yesterday was my day? Why can’t you enjoy the day together with me and be happy about it instead of hammering me with all your temper? Argh~ Nevermind laa…

Wow. This is a long post.haha

Happy birthday to me! Can’t wait for my bike’s seat this late afternoon!

Peace!

PS-"Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen.'' - Can't Hardly Wait